Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When writing a novel, how can a character be developed well, but QUICKLY?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why am I dreaming of people I've never seen before?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do people smoke?

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Have your parents ever walked in on you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is an easy way to get your driver's license?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What should every American know before traveling to the UK?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do I get off Paxil?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do people say African Americans act the way they do because they're poor, when the ones with money act the same?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Were Dalits prohibited from drinking water from wells in ancient times? Is there any evidence to support this claim?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising